I hear some of you complaining “women always say they want a nice guy.” I know lots of women — I’m even related to a few — and I can’t say I’ve ever heard any of them say that. I can’t prove it, but this sounds like one of those things stand-up comedians say about women and everyone else just repeats. I’ve also never known a woman who cries when she breaks a nail — although I’ve known a few who swear like a 15-year-old sailor in jail — and I’ve never had a woman ask me if her outfit made her look fat unless she actually wanted and subsequently appreciated my opinion. So either I’ve stumbled upon a secret trove of women who aren’t passive-aggressive sob machines, or you need to stop mistaking Dane Cook routines for peer-reviewed sociological studies.Lore Sjöberg, Alt Text: Taking Another Look at the Myth of the ‘Nice Guy’ (via thatkindofwoman)
Things Girls Have To Do In The Shower:
-wash the face (have you ever tried to get makeup off)
-wash the body
-try to get conditioner out & fail to get it all out
-did i mention shave that takes a long time
-like summon satan and stuff
Things Boys Have To Do In The Shower:
-i dunno i think my brother uses soap sometimes
Don’t complain when my shower’s not 5 minutes long
she’s just saying that because it’s probably difficult to reach her vagina.
you obviously have no idea how the female anatomy works and I’m assuming that’s because you’ve never touched a vagina in real life so why don’t you pipe the fuck down. pro tip: you can use your tears as lube while you’re masturbating tonight.
OH THAT WAS GOLD